January 11th: What is the value in blogging 365 questions?

The premise behind 365 questions is that I use this blog to reflect on one central question that arises in my life each day for the entire year of 2015. But here’s what I hadn’t counted on: sick days!

I spent a good part of the last couple of days in and out of sleep on the couch, feeling guilty that I couldn’t get the energy together to write. When I had the mental energy to consider it, I asked myself, why am I even doing this? What am I getting out of writing my thoughts like this?

Originally, I decided that if I commit myself to writing a little bit each day, rain or shine, I’ll push my thinking and spur growth in ways that I may not expect. For this reason, I so enjoyed the 2HelpfulGuys post from today on exercising our creativity–if I can figure out how reblog it (who am I kidding–if I can figure out what reblogging is), I will!

Additionally, the reason I chose to write in this format, and not just keep a private journal, is because I find value in the limitations imposed by a potential audience. By blogging my 365 (or so) questions, I’m forcing myself to review my actions and interactions in order to find one central theme, one question, to reflect on daily. Throughout this process, I’m also forcing myself to craft and review and reconsider my thoughts, even when it’s difficult to do so. We don’t always do our best writing when we have to do it. It would be easier to sit around and wait for inspiration, only writing when I knew that my words and ideas were gold. It would be easier to say, “you know, today didn’t teach me very much,” rather than digging for those questions even when they don’t seem so obvious.

But then I remembered a quote that appeared on a plaque given to my by an ex-friend a long time ago. In a move toward reconciliation over–yes–a guy (and one to whom adult me would probably never give the time of day), she came to my graduation party. The plaque she gave me that day said, “You are now becoming what you will be.” Looking back, I realize two things: first, it might have been a word of warning, considering that in those days I was becoming a boyfriend-stealing beyotch with a perpetual hangover. But years later, I realize something else. That quote missed the mark a little bit. It should have been, “you are now being what you were.” Okay, I’ll admit that those words had more of a ring to them through the haze of fever! But the spirit behind it is that it’s what we do NOW, today, that is our legacy. What do I want to have been, someone who was always GONNA challenge myself, GONNA come up with good ideas, GONNA write…or do I just do it already, and to hell with the excuses? So here I am, rain or shine…most days, anyway!

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